my character.

Would you like to hear a story?

Once upon a time there was this boy named Ben and this girl named Fiona.
Ben and Fiona happened to be sitting next to each other on the bus. Because Fiona was tired and had a massive headache, she wasn't willing to strike up a gripping conversation with Ben.
But Ben took this personally and called her a loner.
And then Ben proceeded to preach to Fiona about the importance of relationships, and how instead of going home, it would benefit your life more if you went out made friends.
Thoroughly ticked off, Fiona went home, took some Tylenol and then furiously blogged about their encounter.
The end.

Am I a loner? Maybe.
I'm just not someone who puts a priority on friendships.
I put my family as a first.
Then my studies and schoolwork.
Then my extracurricular activities, like swimming and bassoon.
Perhaps after that would come friendships and my relationship with others.
It's quite far down the list.

I'm aware that my beliefs are much different than most people. I'm extremely realistic and frank, almost painfully so.
I know what I'm capable of achieving, and I know when things are out of my reach.

I also very conscious about money.
I don't lust after things I know my family can't afford, so naturally I've learned not to ask.
Because of this, I especially hate people who complain about things they don't have.
I think it's disgusting how all they can think about is themselves, and how they don't realize how lucky they are to be in the position to be able to worry about petty things like that.

I'm sometimes perceived as a nasty person because I don't like to give fake praise.
If someone asks me for their opinion on their work, I will give my truthful thoughts on it. I won't sugarcoat it, or just simply say that it's good.
If I don't like it, I will tell them and say why.
Which nine times out of ten, cause them to get angry at me. Which I don't get.
Don't ask for my honest opinion if you aren't willing to listen to what I have to say.


And that concludes the end of my spiel.
I know that it was chaotic and you probably didn't follow half of my thoughts.
But it feels good to let that out.
I really hope that this post doesn't change how you think about me.

my awkward little secrets i don't share.

It occurred to me, that I will probably won't meet any of you in real life.
I don't show any of my friends my blog.
So, might as well tell you about all the little, weird things I do. [:

1.) I live in constant fear of burning my tongue. I reduce microwaving times by ten seconds. I let hot chocolate or tea sit for at least five minutes. And above all, I hate eating cookies "fresh out of the oven".

2.) I've wanted to play the tuba since I was in second grade. That wish was unfulfilled. I play the violin.

3.) Those little printed address labels on envelopes that are addressed to me make me feel special. They also make me feel like I'm in trouble with the police.

4.) When I'm really mad, I kick a wall. It's normally not a good solution.

5.) Before picture day, I prepare at least a week in advance. I practice smiling in any mirror, so I don't have that forced-smile look.
... Yes, someone has walked in on me grinning at myself in the mirror. Yes, it was quite awkward.

6.) I still play Neopets. And to those who are prejudiced about it, I bet I've talked to people twice your age there. So ha.

7.)  I have this habit of counting how many weird looks I get. My current record is 48. I don't remember the exact day, but I remember that it was on a Thursday.

8.) I hate Tuesdays. I can't stand them. Every Tuesday is a bad day.

9.) I've never been in a church before. I'm not Christian, so don't make any assumptions of me being the devil or anything. Never stepped foot in a church though. How weird.

10.) I probably knit better than most old grandmas. 

11.) I think that citrus scented body wash should be banned. Same with grapefruit. And lets get rid of those bottles of glitter. They get everywhere and you can't get them off.

12.) There's a box in my basement that has a dead spider in the bottom left corner. I know this because I was looking for crayons inside of the box, and saw it. This was when I was eight. I hate spiders, so I haven't touched that box since. (I found the crayons though.)

13.) I harbor a secret love for Ke$ha. Ask me about it, and I'll deny it.

14.) I shake bottles of soda and seltzer before I open them. I love the thrill of slowly opening and closing the cap so everything doesn't explode.


This list will probably grow over time, as I catch myself doing some more odd things.

Hope that none of you judge me from this. <3 Fi