a post about friends.

I have two really good childhood friends. Their names are Carl and Benny.
And we're really, really, really close.
At least, we WERE close.
We were always together throughout middle school and for a part of high school.
We would talk about Lord of the Rings, Star Wars and we all had common interests.
But lately, we just haven't seen each other. None of us has made an effort to make contact either.

Carl is a huge drama geek. He's the one that I mainly want to talk about.
He's an amazing person. He really is.
But it's getting difficult to have a conversation with him. We used to be able to talk hours and hours on end about absolutely everything and nothing at all. We made each other laugh, and we made each other mad too, but we always managed to tough it out together, no matter what happened.

Now when I see him, I have trouble making small talk, simply because I haven't seen him in so long.
And I never have trouble with small talk. I might not be good at a lot of things, but little, unimportant discussions is something I'm actually good at doing.

And now it's so awkward.
I mean, we both knew almost everything about each other.
I know that he idolizes Dwight from The Office and can quote anything from the show, especially when it involved Jim's pranks.
There was one time when I correctly named every shirt he owned, just because we were around each other so much.
If he was in front of me, I could tell if it was Carl or not because I knew the way that he walked.

Now when I see him, wearing a shirt I've never seen before, which is normally a reference to something I've never heard of, it's really weird.
I can't even converse properly with him, which used to be a given.
It's unsettling.

I need to work on communicating with him more. Maybe that would fix this.
Or maybe not.
We're both really awkward people.

birthdays & summer.

Tomorrow is my friend's birthday.
His name is Ben.
I didn't want to make him a cake, so I made him a sandwich.
Because that's what friends do.
They make each other sandwiches.
[insert sexist joke about women making sandwiches here]

All jokes aside, finals are over. Done. El fin.
I feel burned out like a piece of unfortunate charred barbeque.
At least it's summer now.
And I'm looking forward to sleeping all day like a champ. 

Maybe I'll get out of bed and do some community service.
I have an interview at the hospital on Tuesday.
Volunteering there sounds pretty fun.

I think I'm going to take another nap because my head is spinning and I can't concentrate.
Thank you for tolerating me.
But don't worry, I'm not high on anything.
Deuces.

my character.

Would you like to hear a story?

Once upon a time there was this boy named Ben and this girl named Fiona.
Ben and Fiona happened to be sitting next to each other on the bus. Because Fiona was tired and had a massive headache, she wasn't willing to strike up a gripping conversation with Ben.
But Ben took this personally and called her a loner.
And then Ben proceeded to preach to Fiona about the importance of relationships, and how instead of going home, it would benefit your life more if you went out made friends.
Thoroughly ticked off, Fiona went home, took some Tylenol and then furiously blogged about their encounter.
The end.

Am I a loner? Maybe.
I'm just not someone who puts a priority on friendships.
I put my family as a first.
Then my studies and schoolwork.
Then my extracurricular activities, like swimming and bassoon.
Perhaps after that would come friendships and my relationship with others.
It's quite far down the list.

I'm aware that my beliefs are much different than most people. I'm extremely realistic and frank, almost painfully so.
I know what I'm capable of achieving, and I know when things are out of my reach.

I also very conscious about money.
I don't lust after things I know my family can't afford, so naturally I've learned not to ask.
Because of this, I especially hate people who complain about things they don't have.
I think it's disgusting how all they can think about is themselves, and how they don't realize how lucky they are to be in the position to be able to worry about petty things like that.

I'm sometimes perceived as a nasty person because I don't like to give fake praise.
If someone asks me for their opinion on their work, I will give my truthful thoughts on it. I won't sugarcoat it, or just simply say that it's good.
If I don't like it, I will tell them and say why.
Which nine times out of ten, cause them to get angry at me. Which I don't get.
Don't ask for my honest opinion if you aren't willing to listen to what I have to say.


And that concludes the end of my spiel.
I know that it was chaotic and you probably didn't follow half of my thoughts.
But it feels good to let that out.
I really hope that this post doesn't change how you think about me.

friends make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I made a friend today.
I forgot to ask his name, but he's my friend.
Because we had a conversation about how much we hate math.
In the library. While doing math homework.

I would say that I'm socially awkward, but that'd be contradicting myself, seeing that I just made a friend.

I used to think that talking to people was really hard.
I would just feel so awkward and obsess about how to not come across as annoying.
But now, I've just stopped caring.
And it's just so much easier.

On a side note, today our school had this little marathon thing.
I ran it like a boss.
Just kidding. I walked the whole thing.
But running was never my forte.
Because I intend on learning to drive when I'm older.

i get married.

As of now, I'm proud to announce that I am officially "married".
Yes lads, that means I'm no longer single.

I'm kidding.
I'm getting married to my insane Jewish friend. Her name is Alison.


It started out as a huge joke. But my friends decided to take it to the next level.
Here's the conversation that started it all:

 Cast: (Nicknames are used to protect from creepers)

Me: An not-so-average asian girl.

Alison: An amazing Jewish girl who straightens her hair every day.

Kat: A half African-American and half White girl. 

David: A guy who wears a brown hoodie and has curly hair.

Kat: Alison, sitting next to a guy typically means you are attracted to him.

David: <looks at Alison. who's sitting next to him>

Alison: *insert heaps of denial here*

Me: Kat she's mine. Alison and Fiona, couple of the year. 

Alison: <laughs> Asian-Jew love, right here.

Kat: You should get married.

Me: I'm not buying the multi-million dollar ring.

Kat: THIS IS SO EXCITING.

The next day, I come into school with everyone knowing that I'm married.
And making assumptions.

Before I go on, I would like to let everyone know that I'm completely straight.
I mean absolutely no offense to anyone who is not like me. In fact, one of my best friends is gay.

So, moving on, everyone knows.
And it's quite embarrassing, to say the truth. I was only trying to help Alison out.

Thanks so much Kat.

But it wasn't all that bad.
Alison purchased me a strawberry flavored Ring Pop and proposed to me in a parking lot.
Because everyone knows that a parking lot is the most romantic place on earth.
That is, until we got kicked out by the store owner for "loitering".
Shame on him for not recognizing a proposal when he sees one.
I bet's he's not married. 

We're making it facebook official tomorrow.


Because we all know that it's not legit until it goes on facebook.  :D <3 Fi