impending doom.

One word. FINALS. 
I think I might cry.

I've been procrastinating all year, somehow hoping that if I closed my eyes long enough they would go away.
Well, they haven't.

And I know that I have to pass all my classes or else I won't get accepted to a good college and then I won't get accepted into a good law school and I'll end up flipping hamburgers at McDonald's until I die a miserable death.
So in other words, I'm screwed.

And instead of a written English final this year, the department decided to something a little "different". The concept is that we research an artist and then create a piece with the artist's stylistic traits.
Which means that I have paint a picture in order to pass English.

So today, I did some research and chose Kandinsky. He's basically this guy who quit law school to paint and eventually married his cousin. 
I picked him because he did abstract art which mainly consisted of circles.
He also used oil paints.

We're supposed to use the same materials our artists used to make things more realistic.
I wanted to use my Crayola washable paint from fifth grade, but when I asked if I could use it, my teacher gave me the stink eye.
And I assumed that equated to a no.

Which means I have to go out and buy some expensive canvas and then go buy some more expensive oil paints and then go buy some expensive paintbrush.
And then I have to go home and then draw some circles and hope it looks like a masterpiece.
And knowing my artistic ability, it won't.

Also, because of finals I won't be posting as much as I've used to.
And I'll probably be too busy oil painting circles to get on the computer anyway.

But if it doesn't turn out too bad, I'll take a picture of it and post it here. So you can enjoy my hard work.
You're welcome.

why i wish i didn't play the violin.

The problem with playing violin is that it eats into your confidence.
It's like a greedy little demon that munches on your ego and self-esteem.
Whenever you get a new piece and search it on Youtube, you can find a toddler playing it. And sometimes, they're playing it better than you.

Want an example? Here's one. This is the song I'm currently learning.
She's five years old.


Don't get me wrong.
The violin is a wonderful instrument and it's capable of producing a beautiful tone and even better music.
But only if you're willing to suffer through a few years of torturous high-pitched squealing.

Me being Asian doesn't help my case either.
It's a stereotype that all of us are heavenly at violin.
Well, some of us aren't.
Sorry.

If I knew this was going to happen, I would have learned the bagpipes.
Or the tuba.
Or some weird instrument that nobody knows about.
Anything but the violin. 

a tip for texbook cover designers.

Don't ever feature a smiling kid on the cover.
Actually, avoid any pictures of people on it.

Why?
First, let me ask you.
Do you like studying? 

Your answer is undoubtedly a strong NO. The truth: Everybody hates studying.
And anyone who says they enjoy it, is either...
a) Trying to sound smart
b) Someone who has absolutely no life

Moving on, please imagine this situation.
It's almost 12 in the morning, and you have a big test tomorrow. You forgot about it, and suddenly realized that the test WAS TOMORROW.
You freak out.
So, you sit down at your desk. And take a few deep breaths.
And start to study.
You have your glasses on like a good kid, perfectly sharpened #2 pencil in hand, and textbook flipped open on your desk.
For the first hour everything is going fine. You're cramming Latin words in your head, memorizing statistics, and reciting all the countries in the Northern Hemisphere like a hyperactive-overdosed-on-coffee machine.
But then, suddenly you snap. It might be caused from the overload of caffeine in your bloodstream, one complicated equation, or a entire page of nonstop text. 
You're pissed off.

So you look around for someone or something to take your anger out at.
You look for your parents, but they're already dreaming blissful dreams of their adorable child graduating from Harvard and curing cancer.
You look in the fridge, but close it because there's nothing to eat.
You look at your fish, then think about the salmon you ate for dinner and feel bad for your sorry little goldfish swimming in your sorry little tank.
There's nothing you can do with your anger.

Then you look at your textbook. You close it angrily and stare at the awful thing that is causing so much pain in misery in your life.

Note: I have nothing against the actual content of this. Just the cover. (:

Your eyes focus on the smiling face on the cover.
Suddenly, you're consumed by rage directed at the person on it.

WHY ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY AT MY MISERY? WELL YOU'VE GOT WHAT YOU WANTED YOU AWFUL PERSON!

All common sense have flown from your mind, and you end up sitting at your desk filled with uncontrollable hate at this person on your textbook.

What the person did was unforgivable. Smile at your pain? INTOLERABLE.
You resolve to hunt him/her down.
You will not be calm until he/she suffers the same torture that you did.

-----------

So, textbook designers, please don't put people on your covers.
Do you need an example?

This is probably the MOST straightforward cover I have ever seen. And it works. Kudos to Sparknotes.


So for safety of yourself and others, do not put people on your covers. Thank you. <3 Fi

i've never been so nervous in my life.

I just came back from my first interview.
For a private high school.
And I'm still freaking out, even though it's over.

Did I do okay?
Did I answer the questions right?
Did I seem way too stupid?
Was I polite enough?
Did I talk too much?
Did I dress too casual?
Did I make a good impression?
Was it okay that I didn't get my interviewer's email?
Was it bad how I said my favorite subject was history even though my interview was a math teacher?
Was it a bad choice to say I wasn't very athletic?
Was it a bad idea to say that I wasn't good at art?
Did I insult the interviewer in any way?
Should I email my tour guide?
Did I forget to say something important?


The stress is killing me slowly. <3 Fi