my new life's goal.

To learn how to use all the buttons on a calculator. Not the stupid ones you get in third grade to learn how to do 3+2.

The beefy, fat ones that have so many buttons it makes it hard to find the equal sign. The ones that cost about $200.
Yeah, those.

i hate reading lots of words.

Ever since I've graduated from elementary school, I've gotten a habit of skipping large paragraphs of text when I'm reading.
I always feel a little bit intimidated when I see line after line after line after line after line of words.
It's gotten to a point where I can't even read some books properly.
If I don't get into the book, I'll flip through a couple pages for an interesting part.

Then I got this English teacher in 7th grade.
Her tests were mainly based on the little details in the novel.
Like, some of her questions were like "What color was the protagonist's shirt in Chapter 12?"
You probably thinking I'm joking, but I'm not.
I failed English that year.

Also, because of my fear of paragraphs, I've gotten into a habit of making linebreaks at almost every period.
Have you noticed that?  Most of my posts don't have proper paragraphs.

They're
always
typed
like
this.

And this is so hard to explain. I can't just go up to my teachers, and be like

"Hey, I hate reading paragraphs, so can I skip every few pages and only actually read half of the assigned book? Thanks!" 

This post probably makes no sense at all.
I just read this entire thing over, and I don't even get it.

And I wrote it myself.
Maybe this is another issue I need to look into.

creating usernames.

Username: unicorn
Username not available.

Username: furryunicorn
Username not available.

Username: thefurryunicornllama
Username not available.

Username: thefurryunicornllamawithahatdancing
Username not available.

Username: thefurryunicornllamawithahatdancingonapenguin34387891

Username available!

lolsrsly? -headdesk-

deep thinking.

I've noticed that I do most of my thinking in the shower.

So today, I was having trouble writing an English essay. I'd been working on it for two hours, and I really couldn't think of anything to say. So I decided to take a nice, hot shower to help. And then after 30 minutes I had planned the entire thing out from start to finish.

Coincidence? I think not.

why you gotta be so mean?

I heard it on the radio, and I really liked it.

that moment when...

you accidentally knock over your toast and how you scramble to keep it from falling butter-side-down on the floor.

And how you feel like a ninja when you catch it without your hands getting buttery.
I think that's the most satisfying I'm-A-Boss moment you can ever experience.

my duck army.

They'll eat you in your sleep.  >:]

I'm a hard-core collector.

a new perspective on colors.

Today at lunch, I had a conversation with a friend about the personalities of certain colors. It was probably the highlight of my day, so I guess I'll share the master list we came up with. (And we accidentally gave them genders.)

Red: Red is the most confident of the colors. He can pull of being a total jerk but still seem like a cool person. Because of this, he has lots of friends and followers who do his every bidding. (But he doesn't mind.)

Orange: This color is a teenage daredevil/punk. He has the type of personality that makes teachers angry and makes him a god in the eyes of his peers. He's unafraid of doing or saying what he thinks, and will take any punishment it brings him.

Yellow: Yellow is the most irritating. She's someone who makes sure that nobody does anything wrong, and the type who tattles on you when you take the playground swing she wants.

Green: He's the nerd. Always sitting in the front center of the classroom, he hangs onto every word the teacher says. He's the one that passes out the handouts. He's the one that volunteers to stay after school to do errands for the staff. Because of this, he's teased by his peers and his only friends are fellow dorks like himself.

Blue: She's the person who often gets ignored. Not many people know of her existence, but she doesn't mind. Blue is amazing at drawing, and often gets her sketches published in magazines and books.

Purple: Purple is a major drama queen. She's obnoxious, fake, and over-emotional. The only clothing she are ones that are super tight, and she has an army of male admirers.

yikes.

I hate that awkward moment when you're watching a movie with your parents and a random sex scene comes on.

my secret obsession.

I love cooking shows.
I know how much I sound like a dork. Believe me I know.

Whenever I start talking about the Food Network instead of Family Guy or The Office, everyone looks at me like I'm some awkward kid that needs to go home.

I know it sounds stupid. Cooking shows? What's the point if you can't eat it?
I mean seriously.

But it makes me so thrilled to see all the people running around the kitchen, to see their dish get evaluated and watching the camera zoom in on the chef's sweat.
It's so great.

And the drama. (I know, drama in a cooking show? Whaaatttt?)
There was this episode of Iron Chef that involved some bald guy stealing all the onions from the food pantry and hiding them.
Because this other fat guy was making an onion dish from France or something and obviously needed onions to make it work out.
Which caused a lot of yelling between the bald guy and the fat guy.
Believe me. The drama in cooking shows could easily rival Jersey Shore.
I'm not even joking.

And have you seen the ones where they make these gimungo cakes?
I saw it with my friend one time, and I cried when a pair from Arkansas dropped their Dr. Seuss themed cake.
The show had all this melancholy music playing, and it was so sad.

I'm not a wimp.
You probably would have cried too.

Don't get me wrong. I love me some Glee, and some Simpsons and some Modern Family.
But cooking shows are incomparable to them.
INCOMPARABLE. 

boredom. [:

Three Ways I'm Still a Kid
1. I'm making a gum wrapper chain, and adding to it daily.
2. I have an obsession with unicorns.
3. Whenever we go to a playground, I'm the first on the swings.

Three Ways I'm Already Old
1. I knit. (Ahaha...)
2. I don't understand how to use any of those high-tech machines.
3. .... nothing else...
 
Three Things I Like About Myself
1. I'm honest.
2. I can sleep anywhere and at anytime.
3. I have neat handwriting. x]

Three Things I Hate About Myself
1. I'm allergic to peanuts.
2. I care too much about how people view me.
3. I can be extreemmeellyy negative.

Three of my Everyday Essentials
1. Gum (Preferably mint flavored.)
2. My iPod
3. Hairbrush

Ten Things You Wish You Could Say to Ten Different People Right Now
1. I like you. But I'll probably never tell you.
2. You're hilarious and make people laugh. You're great.
3. I feel like you're a good person, but please stop gossiping. kthx.
4. Dude, wash your hair. It's greasy and disgusting.
5. Wearing baggy jeans and exposing your boxers isn't cool. Pull up your pants.
6. I've always wanted to tell you that I really liked you.
7. Since when have we stopped talking to each other?
8. Please stop wearing bright blue glittery eyeshadow.
9. You know, I really don't care what you say about me.
10. Thanks for being there for me.

YAY SURVEYS! :D

saturday morning.

It's one of those days.
One where you wake up and don't feel like doing anything.

I need to clean my room cause it's a dump.
I need to finish my homework.
I need to write three essays.
I need to vacuum the carpets.
I need to practice the bassoon and violin.
I need to call my friends to confirm plans for tomorrow.

And I'm sore as hell because of yesterday's swim practice.
So I guess I'm going to open my laptop and listen to some screamo. And you know hard it is to concentrate when there's some death metal guy screaming in your face?
It's hard.

I need some coffee. Badly.
With lots of cream and sugar.
Must. Drink. Caffeine. 

aaaawwwaarrdd!

Alrriiiggghht.
I got an award.
And I know that a million of you already have it, but hey. Don't rain on my parade. Cause I'm having a party, dancing in the rain.
I got it from Zaynab and her fantastical blog iLowlife. It's a really great, so go check it out, mkay?

And now, there are these rules, saying stuff I have to do.

• Thank and link back to the person that awarded you this award.
• Share seven things about yourself.
• Award 15 recently discovered great bloggers.
• Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award.

Oh geez.
I went around, and everyone I wanted to award already has it.
ABVALVFHDKJFKD.
Whoops. xD
So, I basically won't really award anyone. Agh, yikes. Don't kill me. >_<

Seven things about me:

1.) I'm Asian, but don't you dare judge me for it. I'm not your typical sit-in-the-corner-and-study Asian girl. Believe me.
2.) I love infomercials. You know the commercials where the person yells at you to buy their product? Yeah, those.
3.) My iPod has an awkward variety of music. I have everything from rock to classical to screamo/punk.
4.) I love pj's and baggy clothing.
5.) Food. Is. My. Life.
6.) I've always wanted to try a McRib, but I've never gotten the chance to get one.
7.) I want a pen pal. But I don't want some random creeper mailing me in a foreign language though.

Yup. That's it. ^_^

the worst feeling in the world.

... is when you just finish shoveling for three hours, then look up, and it's starting to snow again.

Ugh.

yucky stuff.

All the little things that irk and annoy me.
Enjoy.

1.) Waiters who stand around and watch you eat
2.) The awkward temperature where it's too hot for jeans but too cold for shorts
3.) People who eat ketchup with everything
4.) Unscented things that smell awful
5.) People who chew obnoxiously
6.) Tripping
7.) Bathroom music
8.) Saltshakers that make the salt come out fast, so when you wanted just a tad, you get an entire mountain of salt on your broccoli.
9.) Hearing Christmas carols a month after Christmas. It's not the holidays anymore. SO STOP.
10.) People who think that it's cool to be a total jerk to everyone. 
11.) Books that think it's interesting to keep the reader in the dark and not understand a word of what's going on until the author explains everything in the last two pages. I mean, by that time, I really don't care that Sally's a shape shifting bull and actually was the one who killed Jerry, when I didn't even know that Jerry died. (I don't really know how to explain this... Sorry for the awkward wording.)
12.) Pop songs that all sound the same.
13.) When my room gets really messy and I have to clean it.
14.) Being patient.
15.) Waking up with cold feet.

Oh the joys of positivity.

dvabdflkdk.

I realized that banging your hands on your keyboard is an effective way of showing your frustration when you're talking online.
I don't think I found anything else better than that yet.

7:37pm

Friend: wats wrong?
Fiona: i gained ten pounds. ABVLDKSFJAKBVWLEJFW.

I think that's really effective.

2010 in summary & 2011 resolutions.

Well, 2010 has come and gone.
It's been an eventful year.
BP spilled oil. The Bed Intruder and Double Rainbow viral videos got millions of views on YouTube. The vuvuzela annoyed the world at the World Cup. Jersey Shore took over television and became a bad example for teenagers everywhere. Justin Bieber becomes an almost-instant sensation. Twilight is put on chocolate bars and t-shirts.

And as for me,
I discovered my inner passion for Post-It notes. I started blogging and playing the bassoon. I became addicted to seltzer. I got my first cavity. I got my braces off. I started overusing hand sanitizer. I fell in love with My Chemical Romance. I chewed unmeasurable packs of gum. I texted way too much. I began an obsession with unicorns. I made new friends, and lost some as well. I lost hundreds of hair elastics. I bought an iPod touch and can't live without it now. I now own about 20 Nalgene water bottles.

And now it's 2011.
Today is 1/1/11. Make a wish! [:
And I've decided to make some resolutions.

1.) Cut down my sugar intake and drink more water.
2.) Practice the bassoon for 30 minutes every day.
3.) To be an effective tutor, and to learn how to be better with kids.
4.) Continue blogging.
5.) Get a pet fish and take care of it.

Have a fantastical 2011 everyone!