Wednesday, March 30, 2011

dear female celebrities,

If you wear a proper top that covers your chest, people will still like your music.
And modeling for photos with only a bra on won't make people like your movie more.

So please.
Wear more clothing.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

i want to start a flash mob.

Flash Mob: “A large group of people who assemble suddenly in a public place, perform an unusual and pointless act for a brief time, then quickly disperse.” (According to Wikipedia)

I was first exposed to them in an episode of Modern Family.



I never knew that they were actually real though. But apparently they are.
Which made me suddenly realize my purpose in life.
I was born to start a flash mob.

I was born to round up hundreds of people and do something weird with them.
And I'm going to do it.
Before I die, I WILL organize one.

And I want it to be really geeky.
Like something to do with Star Wars and lightsabers.
Because I'm cool like that. 

Monday, March 28, 2011

my baby picture.

My Pooh Bear brings all the boys to the yard. [:

Sunday, March 27, 2011

weekly obsessions.

So, I'll start doing this too.
Since I'm that loser who follows what everyone else does.
Or because I'm that winner who can spot trends. Heh.

Fuzzy Socks:
I bought a pair of these purple and yellow fuzzy socks. And they have the little grippy things on the bottom.
Best. Things. Ever.

Panic! at the Disco:
Their new album, Vices and Virtues came out on 3/22/11. And it's all I've been listening to this past week.
This is my favorite song from the album. It's called Memories. Go take a look.





Naming Things:
I named my bassoon Louis. (Lou-ee: Like the French name)
I named by violin Sheila.
I named my favorite waterbottle Pablo.
And I named my Spanish binder Jake.

Grape Juice:
I drank way too much of this stuff.
I swear, if I keep going at this pace my pee will turn purple.
Too much information? Yikes, sorry about that.

Mint Gum:
I've had like twenty packs this week.  
It's come to the point that it's slightly unhealthy.

I'll try to do this every Sunday.
Alright, that's it for this week.

Friday, March 25, 2011

sequels.

The fourth/last book of the Eragon series is coming out on November 2011.
I forget the entire plot up to that point, leaving me with a vague idea that it had to do with dragons.
But I really liked the series in fifth grade. 
Which pretty much means that I need reread the three books before I buy the last one to refresh myself on what's happening.
And they're all over 600 pages.
Meaning, by the time I'm done reading through them all, some loser would have already spoiled the entire plot of the fourth book.

Did I tell you that I was told that Dumbledore died when I was in line to buy the sixth book of Harry Potter?  So thank you, anonymous nine year old, for ruining my entire Harry Potter experience.

In general, I don't like series that drag on forever.
Especially those books that you think doesn't have a sequel.
And you think that it's great, with lots of suspense leading up to very end, and you think that everything is going to be explained,  and then it's all like,

HAHAHA! You thought you'd get a decent ending? Well, you're going to have to pay another $20 for another overpriced hardcover book coming out in June to find out what happens!

Are. You. Joking. ABVDKLJFDKNK.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

how i wake myself up.

I'm an ogre in the morning.
Waking me up is a long and hard process.
The night before, I have seriously sit down and think about how I can get myself to wake up at the appropriate time the next morning.

I used to get my dad to deal with me.
But I started to feel bad for him, since he had to start his day wrestling me out of bed.
So, I decide to take on responsibility of doing it myself.

I use my iPod Touch as my alarm clock and I set up a total of four alarms to go off.
Try to follow along. It's confusing.

The first alarm goes off at 5:00am. This lets me know that I need to get up soon.
The second goes off at 5:15am.
Since the snooze on my ipod lasts for ten minutes, it means that the alarm for the second alarm I set goes off at exactly 5:25am.
So, I set my third alarm for 5:24am.
Finally, I set my last alarm for 5:26am.
Leaving me four minutes to get out of bed and into my jogging clothes.

So, a typical morning looks like this:
The first alarm goes off at 5:00am. I turn it off.
The second alarm goes off at 5:15am. I hit the snooze button, and go back to sleep.
The third alarm goes off at 5:24am.
And the snooze from the second alarm goes off 60 seconds later, at 5:25am.
Finally, the fourth alarm goes off at 5:26am, finally waking me up.

I know that all of this probably just bounced right off, but it wakes me up.
And that's what matters.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

in which i shamelessly advertise.

I know this girl named Alison.
She's Jewish.
She also likes Snuggies.
Which makes her pretty cool.

So she has a blog.
Which is called Imperfect MEss.
But she's new to this whole blogging thing.
So you should go give her a nudge in the right direction.
Or leave a comment.
Or a follow.
She'll love you forever.
Promise.

Monday, March 21, 2011

smells.

You can determine a lot about a person about how they smell.
It's weird, but it's true.

Which made me wonder about how I smell.
I think I would be a blend of Asian food, coffee, and mint gum. And maybe a tint of chorine.
Is smelling like Asian food a good thing? I have no idea.

i'm socially awkward.

I pretend to talk on my phone instead of talking to real people.
When I call a pizza delivery place, I start off with "Hi, I want a pizza."
Whenever I trip, I look around to see if anyone saw me.
I'm always the person who sneezes in group pictures.
When people around me are ripping on classical music, I get offended.
I have more stuffed animals than friends.
The song I can relate to most is "Loser Like Me" by Glee.
The "For Dummies" books are too complex for me.
I collect rubber ducks.
During school dances, I'm that kid playing games on their phone.
Last year, I was a chicken for Halloween. My friend was a cow.
I sing in the shower.
I haven't worn matching socks in years.
My most impressive feature is my grade in math.

Jealous?
Thought so.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

made with REAL cheddar cheese.

It makes me sad to see how society has reached the point that products advertise that their cheese products are made with "real cheese".

No actually, they make their cheese crackers with bacon and frosting. And haven't you heard? Cheese products also put dragon tears in it, because they apparently have that cheesy flavor that people love.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

communication with my parents.

Parent: Fiona, are you doing drugs?
Me: No.
Parent: Fiona, do you watch porn?
Me: NO.
Parent: Fiona, are you sexually active?
Me: No.
Parent: Oh. Okay.

These daily check ups make me feel loved.

Monday, March 14, 2011

singing in the shower.

There's something about showers that make them so easy to sing in.
It's like this weird magnetic pulse that's begging you to go in and let loose a masterpiece.

Whenever I go in one, I start belting out some song I heard on the radio that I just know the chorus to.
And I sing it.
Over and over.
Until I get bored, then move on to a different song.

I think what makes the showering process so singable is the fact that you can't hear yourself. It's very similar to when you have your headphones on, and you're singing along.
You think you sound like Madonna, but in reality, you just suck.
Sorry.
Its happened to everyone. 

But I actually have one serious thing to say about this topic.
Don't sing in the shower when you're in a dorm.
Because there are people who will record it and put it up on Youtube.
Don't doubt my words.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

narwhals.



Narwhals, narwhals, swimming in the ocean. <3

Saturday, March 12, 2011

obesity vs kidnapping.

I want to exercise in the morning.
It's probably fueled by my new way of thinking that if I don't get off the couch and go work out, I'm not going to live till I'm fifty due to obesity.

But there's one issue.
I'm afraid of going outdoors in the morning by myself.
I'm fine on our treadmill, but once I'm outside, I'm always overtaken by the paranoia that a creepy man with a ski mask will lure me into a windowless white van and drive me to some abandoned parking lot 200 miles away.

So right now I'm deciding which is worse: being that fat kid people can't pass in hallways, or the possibility of being abducted by scary people.

Friday, March 11, 2011

please pray for Japan.

According to Google,
A massive 8.8 magnitude earthquake hit the Pacific Ocean nearby Northeastern Japan at around 2:46pm on March 11 (JST) causing damage with blackouts, fire and tsunami.

Please pray for the people affected and try to help in any way possible.

Monday, March 7, 2011

3 minute brownies.

Today, there was nothing to eat in our fridge.
So I decided to make something instead.
AKA, I threw a few ingredients into a mug and microwaved it.

Here's the recipe for 3 Minute Brownies:

Ingredients: 
4 tbsp flour
4 tbsp sugar
2 tbsp cocoa (Add an extra tsp if you're using hot cocoa mix)
1 egg
3 tbsp milk
3 tbsp oil

1.) Mix the flour, sugar, and cocoa together in the mug.
2.) Spoon in the egg.
3.) Pour in the milk and oil, and mix well.
4.) Put the mug with the ingredients into the microwave for 3 minutes.
5.) Let it cool and enjoy!

It actually tasted pretty good.
      ** I got the recipe from here.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

some people just shouldn't write books.

You've probably heard of the reality TV show Jersey Shore.  If you haven't, it's 45 minutes of watching spray-tanned teenagers yelling, hooking up, going to the gym, and partying.

And now a star member of this show has written a book.
Snooki's book "A Shore Thing" was released on Jan. 4, 2011.
That's ridiculous.

From what I read on Amazon, it's about this girl and her cousin, who go to Jersey Shore for the summer. They both meet boys and have drama and then everything works out. The end.

It's hard to make your writing reality.
JK Rowling wrote the first words of Harry Potter on a dinner napkin.
Stephen King had to use multiple pen names to get his books published. 

I think that books should be meaningful.
They should have depth and at least have a message in it.
But then Snooki rolls on in, and produces a shiny book with her face on the cover.

That's just...
I can't even put the proper words to describe what I'm feeling right now.
Ugh.
Stop Snooki.
Just stop.

Friday, March 4, 2011

creative writing and my childhood.

Did you guys ever do a writing assignment when you were younger (Like first or second grade) and you had to extend a certain phrase into a story?
So basically, the phrase could be something like "The chicken..."
And then you'd extend it to a story involving chickens.

I was always really good at that.
Whenever we got this assignment, I would go way over-the-top and craft a novel that normally involved humans being eaten, flying things, and a Revolutionary War.
My teacher would never know how to respond to these.

Quite frankly, I think she was a little disturbed.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

a tribute to dorks, nerds and geeks.


Cause they're misunderstood, but still awesome.
                   **Beware of light swearing in the song.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

how pokemon changed my life.

Pokemon is my life.
I'm a dork. I know.

When I was in first grade, those Pokemon card games were what we all played because we lived in a very rural area and we had nothing else to do. (I would pass about four farms on my way to school.)
I remember watching all the cool fifth graders play it on the playground at recess.

There was always a huge crowd around them, filled with jealous kids who's parents wouldn't buy them the Pokemon card packs at Walmart.
I watched the fifth graders every single day.
Eventually, there was always a space reserved for me.
It was like a VIP seat and it was great.

Of course, I owned a few cards of my own.
But they were the ones nobody wanted. It became routine for kids I've never seen before come up to me and give me all the ones they didn't want.
They were normally weak Pokemon like Magikarp and Caterpie.
But sometimes, I would get some a Charizard or Articuno from those who felt bad for me.

One day where I challenged this fifth grader to a battle. It was really scary, because James (That was his name) was twice my height and had really big muscles.

The whole school heard about my epic challenge, and gathered around the playground to watch.
AND I BEAT HIM.
It was the happiest moment in my life.
And more than eight years later, I still remember that.

A few weeks ago, I found James on Facebook.
He rejected my friend request.
I guess he still remembers that day too.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

something's wrong with this picture.

In English, we wrote poems about something in our life that was important.
Everyone talked about the beach or a sport.

I wrote about bagels.