the king-sized candy bar dilemma.

It's almost Halloween.
And you know what that means?

Candy.

There are those who proclaim that they are simply "too old for Halloween" or that they "have other academic conflicts". Well they can be mature and miss out.
But me? I'm going out there and getting as much freaking candy that I can get and more. And nothing can stop me.
So my philosophy regarding Halloween? Screw maturity and get candy.


Now, I've lived in my neighborhood for quite a while now. So after years and years of flapping around with crappy homemade costumes on October 31, (my friends and I are way too cheap to buy our own) we all know where the best houses are.
We know which houses buys the cheap 99¢ for 100 pieces bags of candy. We know who splurges and gets huge bags of jellybeans and king sized Snickers. And of course, we know which house is the super health-concerned one who hands out apples and pretzels.

Naturally, we aim for the few who hand out huge chocolate bars and enormous bags of candy. But since the recession, only two or three houses can afford to spend an average of $100 dollars of candy. So, on an average Halloween, I normally receive tons of small bits of chocolate and lollipops, and only one or two king sized candy bars.

Now, it's easy to eat the small bits of candy. You can easily grab an Almond Joy for school, or have a packet of Gobstoppers as a small after-dinner dessert.
But it's the big ones that are hard to eat.

Don't get me wrong, I can eat three or four in one sitting. But eating it is mostly mental.
Let me explain.

You will treasure those two large candy bars. You will look at them longingly every time you grab a small bit of chocolate from your Halloween bag. You will tell yourself "I need to save it. I need to save it."
But after a few weeks of this, you can barely stand it anymore. You want the king sized candy bar.

So you decide a date when you will eat it. Maybe it's two weeks from now. Maybe it's next Wednesday.

You wait in anticipation for this day. And when it comes, wait, when do you want to eat it? Not in the morning, because then you wouldn't enjoy it. Not at school, because then you'd have to share it. (Don't deny it, we've all felt like this before.) Not after school, because you don't want to get chocolate all over your homework. Not before dinner, because it would ruin your appetite. Not after dinner, because you're too full. Not before bed because you don't want to brush chocolate off your teeth.
And finally, you can't spread the entire thing out for the entire day, because it would melt in your pocket, leaving behind a sticky mess.

So, by the end of the day, you feel miserable, and still haven't eaten the king sized candy bar.
But don't worry! There's always tomorrow!


And then repeat the entire process all over again. <3 Fi