Thursday, December 30, 2010

stargazing.

There are certain activities that I feel that everyone wants to do, but has never gone around to actually doing them. Examples of these are juggling, origami, and playing an exotic instrument.
Stargazing falls under this category as well.

I personally have always wanted to learn how to do this. When I was little, I read many picture books that glorified staring up at night and seeing the stars. 
But I could never find the right dots of light.

Is that the north star?
No wait, I think it's that one.
No, that one seems more bright.

Many years have passed, and now I've realized that I can use this to impress others and make new friends.

You see, not many people actually know how to stargaze. In fact, none of my friends have a clue which star is which. This is good, because this means that I can pretend to know what I'm doing, and they'll believe me.

The conversation would go something like this:
Me: <points randomly up at the sky> Hey look, there's the Big Dipper!
Friend: The what?
Me: The Big Dipper. It's a constellation. <points at another random spot in the sky> And there's the North Star!
Friend: I don't see them.
Me: <point at the general spot where you said the Big Dipper was> It's right there. See that big cluster of stars? If you connect them... <move your hand like you're doing a connect-the-dots, still in the sky> it'll form a picture! Cool, huh?
Friend: I still don't see it.
Me: <acting frustrated> Right there! <stab your finger at the sky>
Friend: Oh, that's cool! 

Your friend won't ask more than two times about the specific location of the stars if you act frustrated and irritated enough each time you point it out again. 
They'll pretend they see which star you're talking about, so they don't seem ignorant. 

And that my friends, is how you impress people.
But make sure the person you talk to isn't an expert with stargazing. Because if that happens, you're pretty much screwed. <3 Fi

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